Spaz

This is my lil corner of the internet to be filled as I please -- sorry if I offend.

Monday, February 07, 2005

So, one of the speakers said something that made me think Sun night. Well, they all made me think, but this one has stuck with me for some time. Our nation's main problem is we won't admit to our sins.

I think about it, the people who seem to be happiest understand and know their screw ups and their mistakes. While I know i'm a screw up and I make mistakes, I don't think I actually take the time to confess them fully to God.

I am a slacker. Yup, I am. Big time. I still have not started studying for A&P2.

I am a gossip. Perhaps not in the sense that I spread things that aren't true, but when things bother me I tend to blab on and on about it to people not intimate in the situation. I say that I'm venting frustrations.. but I should vent somewhere else.

I do not study my Bible. This is a big one I have been working on this year. I was always the "good kid" in youth. And during Bible trivia everyone wanted me on their team. But if I stop to think about it, I never really did as well as I should. I didn't read my Bible like I should. I'm working on it. I'm working on my relationship with God, which brings me to my next...

I worship my relationship. This is a large one that God is showing me lately. Yes, it is a good thing to love your boyfriend, but to place your happiness in getting to see said person? As a friend told me the other night, "God gave us feelings, so we should use them." So yes, it's good to be sad, but to steep to the level that I have, is not healthy.

And another big one, Hubris. My whole life I've been something. The wierd one, the tom boy, the singer, the "smart" one, the card shark, the game goddess, the good one, the "christian". I was those things. I had pride about who and what I am. Pride can go too far, and then it becomes Hubris. I am NOT better than anyone else. The cross makes us all at a level playing field. My lie crucified Jesus just as much as Charles Manson's murders, or even an adulterer's abortion. I am no greater, I am no worse. Only in the eyes of the world.

1 Comments:

  • At 8:57 PM , Blogger MyAshley said...

    I am right there with you becca. I have come to realize that I worship my relationship too, for the same reasons you have. But I have just been asking God to change my heart and make our relationship what He wants it to be and to make me content with the time I get to spend with him. There's always something new to learn, some thing in our lives that God wants us to surrender. Even after we think we've surrendered it all, God shows us something else... i love becca!!

     

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